Lost Love Is A Duplicitous Thing

May 21, 2013

Today’s is a poem about feelings surrounding loss and the frustration at not being able to let go.  I first wrote this as a kind of sketch of thoughts I was wrestling with almost a year ago – a kind of exercise in exorcism  – and having given voice to the frustrations I left it at that.  Like so many things done in a moment of raw emotion it is only when returning to them later that you begin to see something more in the work.  So I’ve given it a little edit just try and improve the cadence.

Lost Love Is A Duplicitous Thing

I am so tired of thinking of you,

In that way that colours,

Every possibility,

With anybody else.

My dear,

You are a pain,

You are my pain,

And I do hold that dear,

Though it surely fucks me up.

So I’ll shout about it,

Quietly and under my breath.

Neither you nor anyone else shall hear…

For here is an uncomfortable truth:

There is a crassness in love.

It is not only beautiful & compelling,

But also raging, compulsive, prone to tragedy.

Oh wonders lie therein!

I don’t want to see your face,

Your eyes,

Your smile,

Your perfect behind,

Anymore –

So goes the lie,

For I do see them when I close my eyes.

I see your grace and wild determination.

I still see so much of what I want.

Lost love is a duplicitous thing.

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4 Responses to “Lost Love Is A Duplicitous Thing”

  1. luv2sex.info Says:

    sounds sad ! seems like kind of love that has ended!

    • jonathanvaje Says:

      I believe that when you’ve truly been in love with someone that a part of you will always love them. But, yes, at the time I wrote that I was struggling with a sense of loss and what I, at that time, perceived as rejection. I will still, however, always care for the person who inspired those feelings – something that I had to express at that time. Yes there was sadness, but it gave way to something better and the moments I had with her I have learned to cherish and remember well.

  2. Mina Lamieux Says:

    Lovely. I know this feeling well.

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